Babeshow fans, get a load of this crazy sex story:  A church leader who committed a sex act on a Henry hoover was fined and added to the sex offenders register. Jesus, not even Henrietta? 74 year old John Jeffs, was caught in the act by a churchgoer. He was completely nude apart from a pair of stockings (I wonder if they were fishnet or nylons?). The churchgoer who caught him was attending a talk about Asperger’s syndrome at the time of the incident. A court heard that Jeffs, a retired vicar, noticed the churchgoer as he was balls deep in Henry Hoover but carried on anyway and later told police he did it because he felt “dirty”.


John Jeffs, from Middleton Cheney, Northamptonshire, was found guilty in court of indecent exposure after a short trial at Northampton Magistrates’ Court. It came out in court that Jeffs had committed the bizarre sex act while he was working as a pastoral manager at a Christian group centred around supporting parents who were affected by Aspergers. A witness told the court that Jeffs was in his office at The Baptist Centre in Middleton Cheney in September 2020 when he was caught shagging Henry whilst wearing stockings and with his knob and bollocks on full display.

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The witness said they saw him “standing between two dark chairs, thrusting into a Henry Hoover.” Wow, that’s a sight to behold isn’t it – some old dude plowing his pipe into a vacuum like his life depended on it. Before all this went down, John Jeffs had a squeaky clean record so because of that, he was only given an 18-month community order and ordered to sign the sex offenders’ register. He was also ordered to pay £845 in court costs and £200 in compensation to the victim who witnessed the sex act. I’ll happily take £200 to watch a dude fuck a hoover if your dishing it out. Just so you know, I’m available. In all seriousness though, it must’ve been a pretty traumatic sight for the witness.


The defence solicitor for Jeffs made up some bollocks about Jeffs still coming to terms with the loss of his wife which is why he found companionship in a hoover but that just sounds like nonsense to me. You don’t wake up, put on your stockings, stroll into work and fuck an appliance because you miss your dead wife. Come on, mate, pull the other one.

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