A scientist at NASA has warned astronauts not to masturbate in space because according to this article apparently, wanking isn’t recommended for people travelling outside of earth’s atmosphere or indulge in zero gravity self pleasure.
Why? I hear you ask. Well, I’m glad you asked. According to the NASA scientist, spunking (not his words) in space could lead to stray secretions that could cause pregnancy in female astronauts. It turns out that such acts are subject to highly rigorous regulations. Even the slightest amount of bodily fluid spilled inside a spacecraft could have serious consequences. Who would have thought?!
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NASA engineer Smythe, appeared on Conan O’Brien’s podcast ‘Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend’ and he asked about astronaut’s ‘alone time’. Conan O’Brien’s first question to Smythe was if he had ever sent any pornographic material, whether that be magazines or movie clips to the International Space Station. He insisted that he hadn’t. O’Brien asked Smythe:
“Does porn work in zero gravity? It goes everywhere”.
Smythe replied:
“Three female astronauts can be impregnated by the same man in the same session… it finds its way”.
Wow. That’s pretty crazy. Imagine your Mrs coming back from her trip to space and she finds out she’s up the duff. I doubt the whole excuse of “I got impregnated by flying sperm”, would go down well. After the podcast interview was released, staff at NASA have been inundated with questions about masturbation in outer space. However, staff are refusing to answer any questions about wanking and porn so if you were considering calling up the space station for a chat, you might want to rethink it.
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