Sex Stories: In a story good enough for any phonesex line, or any babe channel adult phone chat. A horny couple got slapped with a noise notice from their local council after a bunch of complaints came flooding in from pissed off neighbours due to their loud bedroom antics.
Amateur British porn star in his own house, 40 year old Billy Brown and his girlfriend Lydia Barker, admitted to shagging “morning, noon, and night” but they reckon the neighbours are being a bit OTT because apparently they only make a few “moans and groans”.
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The couple have now received a letter from the landlord stating that they will be watched…not literally of course. Although they’d probably vibe on that. Here’s what 31-hear-old Lydia, told The Sun:
“It’s not like I shout. I’ve never experienced a problem with noise. My sexual encounters aren’t quite extreme; there are, of course, occasional sighs and groans. We’re doing it morning, noon and night, but not anti-social hours.”
Lydia was mortified to receive a letter that basically said “you and your partner can be heard having sexual relations”. It also detailed how some of the neighbours find it “embarrassing and distressing”. Yikes. I’d move if my neighbours branded my behaviour as embarrassing and distressing. No way am I sticking around when my name is pure mud.
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Unemployed Lydia also told The Sun she was “creeped out” that her social housing provider, Stonewater, informed her that they will “watch the problem”. Yeah, I guess they could have worded that better. The wording sounds like they’re a pervy bunch of sex crazed voyeurs. Lydia is now saying that the complaints have “knocked her and her partner off their stride.” Lydia continued:
“If there was a problem, most people would knock on the door or drop a nice note through.
It is quite extreme to file a formal complaint with the housing association. We both feel quite uncomfortable because of that.”
I mean yeah, someone could have dropped a note through the letterbox but like she said, she’s having sex with her bloke morning, noon and night. People can only take so much before you’re labelled a bloody nuisance. No one needs to fuck that loudly, surely?!
Lydia met Billy a year ago on the Crazy Mouse ride at a travelling fair, where he was working as an engineer. Here’s Billy’s side of the story:
“The neighbours only have to put up with it for two minutes. What are they complaining about?”
Way to tell the whole of Britain that you’re a ‘two pumps and a squirt’ kinda guy. Just when you though this story couldn’t get anymore embarrassing, Lydia told The Sun that she has the full support of her dad, who lives in a caravan right outside his daughter’s house. He says:
“The house has hollow walls but the complaint is extreme. I pop in for a bath and meals, but haven’t heard a thing.”
Erm. Yeah, I have no words…
